I decided to write this poem

and all i have is this. it starts out with me thinking that i don't care what you're thinking. that's right. last night i called you the name of the lover that came between us. i didn't mean to. i called you first, but you didn't answer. then i called my old lover. she answered. i deleted both of your numbers a long way back when i was confident i would never need either of you. i was wrong. but last night i searched and found hers in a notebook from 2006. we had a great talk. she has a baby. your number, well, i knew yours by heart. but in my phone i saved her name to yours because i had been drinking since 12. then i called her back again because i wanted to say something else & you answered & i called you her name & you thought i was an asshole when i was just drunk. everything that i said last night was 100% honest. that i missed your body & and that you were the best & that you were more beautiful than her. love, me.